Category Archives: Be Kind To Yourself Experiment
Yay!! I’ve made it! Day 21 . I must say it’s gone really fast. Doing this experiment has helped me in many ways.
It’s definitely taught me to be kinder to myself.
It’s taught me discipline in terms of writing a post everyday.
It’s taught me just how much negative thinking I really do in a day and at any given moment I have the choice to continue down that track or switch to the positive thinking track.
It’s taught me to go with the flow more.
It’s certainly been wonderful to be able to write all my thoughts down.
I’ve enjoyed meeting new people writing this blog.
It’s given me the confidence to know that I can write something of interest.
Most importantly it’s taught me to take a different view of people and how I interact with them. Sometimes we are quick to judge any given situation we experience and learning to be kinder to myself, has definitely taught me to be kinder to others, both in thoughts and actions.
So anyone out there who is feeling a bit low, or know that they are hard on themselves and others, I challenge you to do this 21 day experiment. It’s definitely changed my life for the better and I know it will yours.
So go make a list of 21 ways to be kind to yourself and then start writing about it. I would love to see how it helps others.
Mmm…. now what to do next? I guess divine inspiration will hit me (probably at 3am in the morning like it usually does).
Love Dimitie xx
I’m up to Day 20! Woo hoo! One more day to go until I complete my findings for this experiment. I must say it has been a really interesting thing to do and not at all what I had expected. I had intended to do a structured activity each day from a list of 21 things that I had written down as ways to be Kind to Myself, but most of that’s gone by the wayside.
I know it sounds strange, but it almost feels like, what I intended to do, has been gently guided in a different direction. Sort of like my Ego saying, ok I’m going to do this and the Universe lovingly saying, no Dimitie it would be better if you do this. So I have really embraced going with the flow on this one. Which is completely ironic considering I think I am usually a control freak!
I had a classic example of that yesterday. I had a meeting with someone and the words she used to sum up my son and myself were that we were ‘laid back’. Yes I would say my son is definitely that, but I wouldn’t consider myself that. As I have mentioned, I’m the complete opposite. The funny thing was she was implying that being laid back wasn’t a good thing (or that’s how I interpreted it). But I thought that would have been a good trait to have? Imagine if the world was more laid back, would we have fewer wars, less anger, less negative thinking? I guess it’s all about finding a balance, between being laid back and being driven. Is there a middle ground?
I must say I came away from the meeting rather confused. Everything in society gears us towards being driven and focused and goal oriented. Sometimes to the point of break down for many people and systems. So shouldn’t we adopt more ‘laid back’ approaches in our everyday living? I’m sure positive thinking comes into play here. Does being in more of a positive mindset help us to be more laid back? I would think so. Things that would normally make us angry or upset we would probably let go of and allow ourselves to just ‘be’ in any given situation. Happy and peaceful.
The other thing I observed over the course of the past few days is that with expectations, usually comes negative thinking. If we have an expectation about something and we don’t get what we want, we usually go into a negative thinking phase. For example, you expect you partner to make you dinner and when they don’t do that, you feel let down and disappointed. I think it’s good to have goals for things, but expectations? I think they set us up for disappointment.
I can’t really think of any given Be Kind to Myself moment today, but just doing this whole experiment has given me the gift of insight into myself and how I interact with the world.
One more day…. but it’s really only the beginning.
Love Dimitie xx
I’ve decided to write another post today as I discovered something amazing that I wanted to write down before I forget.
Today I discovered that I am a Master of Manifesting… but of the negative!
To the outside world and anyone who meets me they would say that I’m really positive and to a certain extent that’s true. But my internal world, I realized today, is inherently negative.
For years I have focused on my thoughts and been able to recognize when a negative belief comes to my awareness. Through years of training I have learnt to clear those negative beliefs and it’s changed my circumstances in many ways. But there are always many negative beliefs that slip through my radar and before I know it I am cranky at something that I don’t even know what caused it?!
So I asked today, why do all these negative things keep re-occurring? The answer I found yet again in Esther and Jerry Hicks, (Abraham, Ask and It Is Given). They said for every negative belief you have, there is a positive belief and depending how you think, negative or positive, you will attract it. For example if I say I am financially poor, then that’s what the universe will give me. If I say I am financially abundant then that is what I shall receive. The key to their message was that if you want to change something in your life, you have to focus on what you Want and not on what you already have.
So I listed down all the negative thoughts that are occurring at the moment and then came up with a positive alternative. I must say that it made me realise that it is that simple to change your reality, by changing the way you think!
So after 30 years of focusing on the negative and constantly seeing the results, I’ve decided to focus on the positive. Even though the positive things haven’t manifested yet, I know they are coming and I must say it makes me feel a whole lot better!
So that was my Be Kind to Myself moment. Oh that and a haircut, which always makes me feel good .
Love Dimitie xx
Wow yesterday was an amazing day! Not only because I was jet lagged, but it was also Halloween!
Halloween is such an interesting activity. I think it’s one of those pagan type things that has been carried over for centuries in various forms and it’s funny that we still do it? There are not many rituals that people in the world carry out together, but this is one of them? It’s also interesting that through commercialization of Halloween e.g. the sales of costumes , pumpkins and sweets, it seems to be catching on more and more world-wide too. Is it that? or do people just enjoy stepping out of their everyday lives for a moment, getting dressed in costumes and taking their kids trick or treating?
I usually don’t like to participate in it because all that death and scary stuff usually freaks me out! I’m a big chicken when it comes to anything remotely scary. But our kids love it, so I go along with it. Even though dressing them up as vampires is the complete opposite of everything I believe in! Not to mention the amount of sweets my kids consume on the night! Ai Ya, the things parents go through.
What I think is really interesting is that people open their houses to give the kids candy and it’s a very friendly time. The rest of the year people usually drive past you to get into their gated houses. But at Halloween the place becomes a community? Why is that? Why don’t we have more times like that?
So I guess you’re wondering how my pondering about Halloween comes into the Be Kind To Myself Experiment? Mmm I am wondering that too. Maybe it’s just the coming together of people that makes you feel good. Maybe it’s the smiling faces of everyone you pass by or the happiness of the children consuming candy! I’m not sure, but it is interesting that a night that is supposed to be scary, actually becomes a night of laughter and fun.
What do you think?
Love Dimitie xx
Yesterday was spent travelling all day. We usually pack up the house in the morning and catch the afternoon flight from Brisbane to Singapore. We know the flight very well as we have been catching it since the kids were babies.
I always have such mixed emotions leaving Australia to go back to Singapore. I guess that’s just part of being an Expat. You are always in limbo, not really knowing where you belong. Of course Australia will always be our home, but we haven’t lived there for 11 years and our kids have spent their lives growing up in Singapore. They are true Third Culture Kids, but they still miss Australia too. They still call it their home, which is funny seeing as they haven’t ever lived there for any length of time.
I find that I am always in a constant state of influx as to whether it is better to raise the kids in Singapore or Australia. You get lulled into a false sense of security living the life of an expat. It has many benefits, but also many problems too. Sometimes it’s hard to way up if the benefits outweigh the problems. But then I guess it’s always how you look at it.
I had a shocking headache on the plane, so pretty much had to rest the whole way. I’m not complaining as James’ managed to get us upgraded to Business Class again. So I was very comfortable.
I don’t know what it is about flying for me, but I usually gain some amazing insights into things and yesterday was no exception.
As I am an intuitive healer and am able to channel, I get some astounding information. Some of which I am compiling into a book. So stay tuned for that.
The Be Kind To Myself moment happened when I discovered a new way to heal the headache. I had taken a few painkillers, but they had not been working, so I did my usual meditation trick of focusing on what was causing the pain in my body. After a while I had a huge revelation and discovered a new way to heal the body. I have learnt many healing techniques, but this one seemed to make the headache disappear really quickly. So I have written it all down and intend to show people how to use this simple technique.
So what could have been a really boring plane trip, was actually quite amazing indeed!
Love Dimitie xx
Yesterday was a pretty calm day. The be kind to myself moment happened when I went fishing with my husband and son (the daughter is still glued to her Mac book air -sigh).
It was a kind of overcast day, but that didn’t stop us from setting up the fishing rods, kicking back and relaxing. I’m not really a fan of fishing itself as I really don’t like the thought of the poor old fish getting caught, but I do like just sitting down with the rod, looking out at the water. It’s a nice way to take time out of our busy lives to rest and reflect. It’s also a very peaceful activity and the fish are so clever around our parts that rarely do they get caught. I sure they can spot a hook with a yabbie on it a mile away.
The rest of the day was spent just hanging around the house and then later going over to my in-laws for a good old Aussie BBQ. I always over eat in Australia, as the food tastes so fresh here and I feel comforted eating food that I’ve grown up on. But even though I over indulge, it is a truly enjoyable activity!
Today we went to see “Johnny English Reborn”, Rowan Atkinson’s(Mr Bean) new movie. It’s a great film and delivered in true Rowan Atkinson style. Very funny British Humour.
Now we are gearing up for a pre halloween night. The kids here always celebrate it the Saturday night before, if Halloween is on a week night. Even though we are not American, the kids love to dress up and get lots of candy.
Tomorrow, we return to Singapore which is always a bag full of mixed emotions for me.
Mmm very interesting what happened yesterday. After I explained in my blog yesterday about being in the present moment and just enjoying that, I did the complete opposite! I was locked in a full day of negative thinking and not being present! I find that when I go into that mode, there is some sort of fear behind it. Yesterday was a classic example of negative thinking out of control. Here’s what happened.
We decided to get the kids new Macbook air’s. We are upgrading the sound system in our holiday house so that the music can all be run through an iPad. The technology is amazing and quite mind-blowing. We can use our iPad to turn the music on in any area of the house. The house was built with speakers all over it when we bought it from the previous owners (the guy loved high-tech gadgets and the house is equipped with lots of them).
So the kids (who always like to emulate their parents) wanted in on this high-tech setup. So the Macbook Airs were agreed to. The amazing thing is with kids these days they are sooo technically savvy, that what’s taken the installation guy an hour to explain to us, the kids have figured out on their own, in about 10 mins! Not only that, but my daughter has figured out, rather than missing her friends from school, she can just Skype them while she is away.
Since getting her Macbook Air, she has also figured out with her friend how to set up a secret website for their spy club, complete with restricted access code, so no-one can go on it except those in the club. Oh and did I say how old she is? 11. (The fact that they are setting up a spy club, is just another thing I will have to monitor. Just to make sure they don’t end up on the FBI list for underaged minors who are not supposed to be hacking into the Pentagon!)
Here are some of the fears I had to do with purchasing the Macbook Airs (or any technology for the kids for that matter):
Our children are spoilt – it’s nearly Christmas – what are we going to give them for Christmas?
Our children are going to turn into computer junkies, not being able to go anywhere without their Macbook Airs.
Our children will grow up, not being able to communicate with anyone properly, because they only know how to text, email or Skype someone.
If they are on these computers all day, they will lose their motivation to do anything other than that.
They are constantly hassling me for the iTunes password, so they can download, apps, movies, games etc all the time. There is only so many times a day that you can take “mum can you type in the iTunes password for me as I found this really cool app”. Me – “No I am not going to give you that password as you are spending too long on the computer already.” “Well just give us the password then and we’ll download it ourselves”. Me – “Yes right and watch you ring up a $3000 credit card bill full of Apps – I don’t think so!”
(I think we’ve drummed it into them enough that they can’t give out their personal information on computer or that we have to monitor what they key search on YouTube etc, but I’m for ever vigilant on that one)
So with all these thoughts, I was in a constant state of influx. Dammed if you give the kids the technology and damned if you don’t (“mum all my friends have these things, Their mum/dad gives Them the iTunes password, so I’m a complete loser if I don’t know how to use these things!”). It takes keeping up with the Jones’ to a whole new level!
I know any normal, disciplined parent would say, well you just limit the time they spend on them. Ok well You try getting a kid off a computer or any electronic device when you want them to. It’s like taking candy or toys from a kid – lots of tantrums, on both sides! (even withdrawal of privileges doesn’t work, they always find a way to negotiate around that).
Ahh the joys of parenting kids in this modern, fast paced, technologically driven world. Just when you think you have the goal posts in site, they change via the technology.
So the Be Kind to Myself day was a complete failure yesterday. All I wanted to do was go back to bed, pull up the covers and not have to deal with any of it!
Yesterday was another relaxing day (well it usually is on holidays). I was trying to think of the Be Kind to Myself moments and two came to mind.
The first one was going for a walk with my daughter up to the local shops. It is a lovely walk, only about 10 mins, but it’s near the water so it’s always a very energizing and refreshing experience. There is also a park on the way, so not only do we get to enjoy the water, but also the greenery. Also people are more friendly when you are walking in that sort of setting. I guess they feel as good as you for getting out in the fresh air, being near the water and enjoying everything that nature has to offer. It’s one of those times when you can feel joyful and connected to everything there is. If you are really aware you are also in the present moment. I often watch people as they pass by and if they are looking at you or at the scenery you know they are in the present moment. If they have that look on their face, like they are deep in thought, then you know they are trapped in the past or future events of their thinking. They are creating their existence up in their head, rather than taking in what is really around them. (I know because I am guilty of this myself!) Sometimes I will be walking along and realise I haven’t noticed anything around me and that I have been focussed on my thoughts (usually the negative ones). You can always tell when someone is thinking negative thoughts as they usually have a grumpy, angry or unhappy look on their face. Of course it’s vice versa for people who are thinking positive thoughts. They look happy and content.
The second Be Kind to Myself moment was in the afternoon, when my husband’s family came over for dinner. I always cook for them, but get nervous in the process. I have come to realise it’s not because they will judge me for not giving them what they want, but that I judge myself. I want to make sure that they have a lovely time and enjoy the food that I give them. So I put unnecessary pressure on myself to create the perfect meal! It’s a classic example of not being present and not enjoying the cooking or our family. I know everyone around me picks up my unease and that in turn makes them feel uneasy. So the way we think can have an unconscious impact on those around us, whether we realise it or not. My husband is very in tune when it comes to tension in a room. He usually cracks a joke, which immediately puts everyone at ease. Humour is a great way to bring the truth to light, I think. So in the end we all had a lovely time and the food and company was enjoyed by all!
Yesterday, everyone was a bit tired, cranky and jet lagged. Even though it’s only a two hours time difference between Singapore and Queensland, it still seems to affect us. I’m not sure whether it’s our brains think, it’s only two hours, so I shouldn’t be jet lagged (but your body still feels it) or whether you just want to make the most of your time here, so you ignore it. Either way, it always creeps up on us in the form of crankiness.
So our be kind to ourselves moment was to go to the beach. AHHH I love the beach! Especially the Aussie Beach. I know I am biased, but there is no place like it. The beaches in Australia are just so beautiful. Wide expanses of sand and water that stretch as far as the eye can see in both directions. As soon as people hit the beach they start to feel happier. I’m sure it’s all the (negative or positive ions? I can’t never remember) that you get from being near the water. Everyone goes to the beach for different reasons. Some take their kids there just to play and have fun and for parents to have brief respite. Some go to be cool and show off their bodies. Some go to try to attract the opposite sex or to look at the opposite sex! Some use it for exercise to make them feel good. Some go to have some time to reflect on their lives and where they are at. For us it is the parent respite and to watch the children having immeasurable fun. They just get so excited jumping the waves and playing on the sand. It never ceases to melt any crankiness that a person has. I also think being near the ocean is a great leveler. You realise looking out at the vastness of the ocean, that your problems are never a big as what they seem. They are just a drop in the ocean . Also that most of it is made up in your head! (the negative stuff that is). The positive stuff, is the ocean. That feeling of joy and happiness that it brings and to know that those emotions are always there to tap into, no matter where you are. I just think the ocean helps reminds us. It’s the same with walking in nature or having a friend, family member smile at you or say something positive to you. It all helps to remind us that it is possible to change the way we think, which in turn changes the way we feel.
Ah so much insight from doing this Be Kind To Myself/Yourself experiment. It’s all the same thing. Whatever I experience, on a deeper level, you will experience too, as we are all connected, by the same loving energy that created us.